ANOTHER HILLBILLY JOKE

Hillbilly Vasectomy

After their 11th child, a hillbilly couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative, ' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in hillbilly country) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

'The hillbilly said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how puttin' a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is gonna help me..

''Trust me,' said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!


'1'



'2'



'3'



'4'



'5'


At which point, he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.

This procedure works in Arkansas , Missouri , Tennessee ....and Washington DC .

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I'm ate up with these stupid hillbilly jokes but you wouldn't believe how many family and friends keep sendin' 'em to me! I can't help it! I hope I don't offend anyone, It's all in funnin'.

I want to share with you a wonderful award I received from a very nice fellow blogger.

The Chickenista over at her blog bestowed upon me a Lemonade Award. If you have never visited the Chickenista, please go on over and visit a spell with her. She is a great blogger with a very good sense of humor. She's always got somethin' fun to read and she writes about how much she appreciates her chickens.

As a recipient of this special blog award, you are suppose to bestow it upon 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude. Since I feel that all the blogs I visit and all the bloggers who visit me are very special people with great attitudes and gratitude, PLEASE take this award so that I can show you how much I appreciate all of you. You deserve somethin' for readin' my hillbilly jokes!

Love you all.
Rebel

NEVER CHOKE IN A RESTAURANT IN THE OZARKS!

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
Real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

This was a joke told to me by a good friend, another hillbilly.